Sunday, September 28, 2008
Phew! I feel like I have so much to say but I don't quite know where to begin. It's been a really interesting time however I'm not sure when I say that whether I mean this past week, month or year! All of them for their own reasons and to varying degrees and meanings.
Most significantly something stirred this weekend. I lay awake in bed till around 3.30am on Saturday morning thinking about my life, my health, my dreams, my past. I realised that I can make things different and that I can achieve things if I set my mind and my heart to it.
So that is exactly what I have decided to do. To get out there and achieve my goals and dreams. To work towards things I know that I want such as living a healthy lifestyle, becoming fit and active, becoming a bike rider and getting my body back into the state of being that I want it to be in.
More than that though, I'm going to start listening to the secret desires of my heart and I'm going to let them become loud and visible, tangible and possible. How am I going to do it? Well first of all I'm going to give them voice.
I want to be an artist, and a writer.
Wow, it feels frightening to see that on the screen in front of me, to think about pushing the 'publish post' button. So many thoughts of being an impostor, of not being good enough, of not being allowed to wish for such flights of fancy. I can't help but worry that everyone is just going to laugh at me either overtly or behind my back.
Somewhere deep inside though is a tiny flame that won't be extinguished. It's been there for as long as I can remember. There's a energy and lightness to my being when I am being creative. When I dream of a life as a creative soul and when I am being creative I feel energised and at peace with my place in the universe.
I've just started reading Kelly Rae Roberts new book 'Taking Flight'. It's absolutely magic. It has reawakened my passion and desire. Interestingly it was an article by her that I first read in Cloth, Paper, Scissors that first reawakened my creative dreaming. A second article by her was the impetus to start blogging back in February. Now only a few pages into her book and again I'm alive with possibility. It's fascinating to me that I am so inspired and influenced by this single individual and that she keeps having such an impact on my life. If you haven't read her blog at all I highly recommend a visit.
There's lots more to come. Stay tuned...